Now for the exciting topic of colonic irrigation, also called colonic hydrotherapy, also called hydrocolonotherpy, or simply otherwise known as an enema. I’ve been hit with Yahoo-spam-blocker-defeating spam wanting to know if I want my colon washed out with water. When I was younger, I had my mouth washed out with soap and water for being dirty, so why shouldn’t my other orifice be any different?
According to my health insurance provider’s website,
Colonic irrigation, also called colonic hydrotherapy, is a variant of enema treatment, which involves flushing the bowel with water in different quantities, temperatures and pressures. Through a tube inserted via the rectum, water may be introduced alone or with added enzymes, coffee, probiotics or herbs. Treatment sessions usually last about one hour. During a “high colonic,” water goes in through one tube in the colon and is removed along with debris through another tube called an obturator.
Coffee, eh? Ask your barista next time would dark or light roast be best for this.
I’ve been told by someone who had gone to a colon irrigation seminar that we have an average of 10 pounds of shit clogging our colon at any given time. Unfortunately John Wayne had 40 pounds of shit in him when he died, and think of how thin he looked in his last public appearance. You think it was cigarettes that got him? The next time somebody says “You’re full of shit!” it may only be a concern for your health.
Why do proponents say you need one? OK say you have 10 lbs of shit laying around inside of you. Shit stinks, and is full of nasty germs. Vegetarians should be proud to have better colon health and meat eaters since the digested byproducts of meat stick around for a long time. Imagine the Atkins dieters. This is what it means to have 10 lbs of shit laying around:
| Addiction Allergy Altered blood pH balance Altered eating habits Arthritis Asthma Back pain Bad breath Bloating Bowel cleansing Chronic fatigue syndrome Colds Colitis Constipation Cough Detection of parasites Diarrhea Digestive disorders Distended abdomen Diverticulosis Eczema Epstein-Barr virus Fatigue Food cravings |
Foul body odor Gas Gastrointestinal disorders General health maintenance Gout Headache High blood pressure Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) Improved mental state Influenza Insomnia Irritability Irritable bowel syndrome Lupus Menstrual problems Pancreatitis Promotion of regular bowel movements Prostate conditions Psoriasis Screening for colorectal cancer Shingles Skin problems Strengthening colon muscle contraction (peristalsis) |
There is another side to this. Some warn, including quack hunters, M. D.’s and other urban legend busters, that having your colon cleaned is unnecessary, that its proponents are full of more shit than The Duke. Indeed the procedure is often dangerous, and yes it could even kill you. You have to decide if it’s worth your life to cure B.O. or eczema.
