Solve fuel shortage with our own bodies

June 23, 2008

Barbara Ehrenreich suggests liposuction as a way to get a good 45 million barrels of biofuel from obese American bodies. Funny.

This is not a new idea. The NYT archives has a piece from 1853 that suggests the use of human remains to make tallow, or the material that goes into candles.

Some of us may have larger amounts of fuel than others. This is related to the controversial phenonmenon of spontaneous human combustion (SHC). A theory is that humans burn up to due to human wick effect in which a body is devoured by flames from its own body fat.

And, climate change protesters calling themselves the Yes Men attended a Canadian petroleum industry conference and presented their new invention of vivoleum, a new renewable fuel made from human bodies.

The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit “commemorative candles” supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the flesh of an “Exxon janitor” who died as a result of cleaning up a toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles after his death, and all became crystal-clear.

The idea is, as human deaths are accelerated by climate change, the excess bodies can be harvested and made into vivoleum. The activists had a website, up to explain the exciting new technology, but pressure believed to be from ExxonMobil caused their provider to pull the site down.

Echoes of earlier environmental disaster warnings like Soylent Green. Except that people were made into food, not gas.

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