The Olympics again

August 19, 2008

Surfin’ the Olympics, 21st century style…

This son of illegal Mexican immigrants won gold in freestyle wrestling. Most people would have wanted his parents booted out of the country of course, and a lot of people would have wanted the son to have been booted out of too, let alone be allowed to attend public schools. The story says he didn’t like to study, like many members of the Redeem Team, certain US Presidents and notable US Presidential candidates. So the champion wrestler declined to go to college. He is proud to compete for the USA USA. Are you?

Meanwhile, NBC posted this video of a coach who’s pissed at his pole vaulter, Jenn Stuczynski, for only winning the silver. I guess it wasn’t bad for having done that for only four years. I’ve had bosses, we all have had, for whom nothing was ever good enough. Some have even had parents like that. Either these bullies authority figures are trying to motivate through deprecation, or they just have unresolved issues.

Maybe this coach was simply having a bad day. His athlete only gets a silver, add to that he maybe has indigestion from bad Chinese food the night before, who knows? Note though that Jenn had gotten into a pissing contest with her rival Yelena Isinbayeva (can Bob Costas pronounce this name) and, lost. So I guess you can’t feel too bad about the whole thing.

The Russians (boooo! we can boo them again) are third in the overall medal race, trailing the host Chinese and the USA USA by a significant margin. However, if you add up the totals of all the former Soviet Socialist Republics, the old USSR would be the medal count leaders. In fact the good ol’ CCCP would be kicking Olympic ass. You’d hear this on the replay loop over and over. Yeah, you do have to figure that as individual Olympic recognized states, that they do have more athletes competing in certain events, but still. The old USSR had three votes in the UN, so what they hey.

Even if you only consider members of the successor-sort-of organization the Commonwealth of Independent States, then that group as a whole is scrapping with the USA USA and China for the overall medal lead.

BTW as of yesterday, August 18, Georgia (the country, not the home of the Libertarian candidate for President Bob Barr) told the Commonwealth of Independent States to kiss its ass, costing the CIS to this point five medals.

And which country really is the best at medalling? Should you count the most gold or the most medals over all? A medal is medal I think, unless you are that track coach I discussed above and that Swedish weightlifter. The best, fittest and most athletically worthy should be the one with the most medals per capita. In that case, even if China wins the most medals, most gold, whatnot it still can’t compete with the USA USA because China has four times the population. It won’t win four times the medals of the USA USA. Russia has less than half the USA USA’s population and is shrinking all the time. Mother Russia is on track to do considerably better than half the USA USA medal count, even with Vladimir Putin not participating on the judo team.

Next in the medal count so far are the Aussies, the Brits, the cheese eating you know whats, and the we’re-still-sorry-for-WWII Germans. Germany and France are neck and neck, and even though in the larger picture France has had to settle for being a splendid second, in these Games France is clearly superior, per capita, than Germany in overall medals. The UK has slightly more medals than France, and the UK has slightly more people than France.

Now if you only consider the gold, France is woefully behind the Brits and the Germans there, with the French medal count concentrated in the silver and bronze. Le Bronze indeed. So when it comes to l’or c’est l’argent ou le bronze. France est la deuxième splendide n’est pas? La troisème splendide?

The Aussies may be the world’s most athletic people, without doing further research. They have more medals than any of the old or new European countries, and with a population less than that of California or Texas.

South Korea has almost the population of France, but has slightly more medals than the more than double the population Japan. I hate to say it since I am half Japanese in origin, but Japanese performance is pathetic. Japan is still the second largest economy in the world, can’t it buy athletes like everyone else?

Now if you look at the bottom of the medal count, you could get skewed results from those nations with 1 or 2 medals but a tiny, winning their medal or medals by fluke, or because they have one particularly gifted athlete. Trinidad and Tobago have a medal for a population of only 130,000. So that’s one medal per 130,000 Trinidadians (and Tobagoans).

Now, if the Aussies or the citizens of T n’ T (what an acronym!) are the world’s most athletic and hard bodied people, which country is the most slovenly, lacking in human athletic achievement that the gods will curse the land for 1,000 times 1,000 years or for eternity, which ever comes first. Mexico with a population of perhaps 110 million has one medal. If the wrestler above had competed for Mexico (which he could, he is no doubt considered a Mexican citizen), he could have doubled the Mexican medal count. But Mexico isn’t the worst, even though it is 846 times less athletic than T n’ T.

The most unathletic country on the face of this planet is very the one that is the home of the billion dollar house, Yes friends, it’s India, home of 1.13 billion people and one Olympic medal for 2008. That’s one medal per, follow me with the math, 1.13 billion people. This is just inexplicable. Suffering succotash already.

Now what if this were to happen. For example, somebody in India would stand up and care about this situation. Then a rich dude, maybe the builder of the billion dollar house or his brother, will stand up and say “We will have the 2020 Olympic Games in Delhi, and we are going to kick world ass there.” Now, instead of spending around $1 billion US on a mere house, spend on an Olympic training program. Put the Indian training facility somewhere near Shimla in Himachal Pradesh, a setting sort of like that of Colorado Springs. Concentrate on the individual sports (pretty much all of India’s medals over the past century have been in field hockey. This year’s medal, a gold, was the first gold for India in an individual event) like shooting, archery, wrestling??

Well, actually an Indian billionaire has stepped up to the plate (India doesn’t have baseball) and pledged $10 million US as a start, and some of this money helped train the gold medalist. And there’s a plan to improve things. India will host the 2010 Commonwealth (not of the Independent States but of Her Majesty) Games and will bid for the 2020 Games to be in Delhi. Because the IOC gave the Games to China, they’ll have to give the Games to India sometime soon. Now, if baseball is reinstated for the 2020 Games, could they just call it cricket?


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